I already had my route around the park planned out. Who I wanted to see, where they were and when thanks to a very helpful phone call from a friend back in Sheffield. The first band on my list was The Answer. Anyone who's read my Out Of The Cellar columns will know me as a huge nutswinger who can't give enough praise to this modern version of Paul Rodgers' Free. They're playing the main stage and I've got a strong feeling they're gonna blow everyone away. That would have been the case. They play an amazing set of real guitar solos an' all Rock N' Roll. Into The Gutter, Under The Sky, Be What You Want and my favourite of the moment, Keep Believin'. If you have the debut album Rise you know what I'm talking about, if not you need to buy it right now! So why did I say "That would have been the case"? Rather than "That was the case?" Well... it was nothing to do with the performance of the band who put out a good a show as always despite the size of the crowd compared to one they'd normally be playing to. Nope, I blame the event organisers. The PA system is way too quiet. With all the music coming from the other tents The Answer's sound from the main stage blends in with the music from the tents and the further back you're stood the more people are running around like morons in the drizzle. Oh well, fuck it. I heard them and if other people can't be bothered to give the Rock N' Roll Revolution a chance I say fuck 'em!

Next stop on my Retro Rock tour of Hyde Park Calling is the Pepsi Tent. My contact said that "Fast" Eddie Clarke's band Fastway are playing. I'm not by any stretch a Motorhead fan but I have the Trick Or Treat film soundtrack Fastway did and remember it was pretty decent and a lot better than Jet who are hittin' the main stage next. They jumped the shark after just one album! Anyway inside the Pepsi Tent there's a band of long haired middle aged men jumping around on stage, I don't recognise the song or the appearance but I'm pretty sure this is the right place. I'm not gonna pretend Fastway blew me away. They were decent. A lot better than getting wet, and that could have ruined the atmosphere... People just wanting to keep dry rather than real fans of the band. The one song that does remain in my memory, with its brilliant guitar riff and great shout-a-long chorus is Non Stop Love. And whether I dig Motorhead or not there's no denying Clarke's talent. The man can certainly play. I'm housing up in the Pepsi Tent a little longer to catch another modern Classic Rock band by the name of Rose Hill Drive. Seems a lot of Americans I speak to have heard the name but not actually investigated the band. Their self-titled debut album is great for fans of bands like Cream and the mighty Led Zeppelin. If you're gonna see them live make sure you can appreciate the original Black Sabbath line-up too. It really pisses me off when people talk about how Wolfmother are bringing back the Classic Rock power trio. Fuck them. They suck. One of the key characteristics of Classic Rock is the guitar solo something Wolfmother have no experience with. Rose Hill Drive and The Answer is where it's really at. The three piece break into album opener Showdown. Already the crowd goes wild. I'm really surprised The Answer who took to the main stage were widely ignored whereas it seems Rose Hill Drive has a tent full of supporters. Surely if you like one you like the other? Where were these people during Northern Ireland's finest's set? Anyway R.H.D. are giving it their all here. Vocalist/bassist Jacob Sproul tells us the band played the festival last year, I'm not confirming this but I think he said main stage. If so let's hope you could actually hear them! The highlight of the set is not the song that I thought to be their most famous, Cool Cody (Which they don't even play) but a storming cover of Black Sabbath's Fairies Wear Boots. I don't recognise it at first but I'm thinking "I don't know this one, it sounds like Black Sabbath" and then the singing kicks in and it hits me. Guitarist Daniel Sproul can most certainly play there's no doubt about that. In fact that goes for the whole band who based on the performance here should be much higher up on the setlist. Above the next band I get the "pleasure" to see anyway.

I leave the Pepsi Tent before Joe Satriani's appearance. I don't like Shred, gives me headache and from what I understand Joe doesn't do much singing which isn't really a good recipe for festival music in my opinion. Plus bald men scare me. Instead I head outside to see who's playing main stage. It's ex-Audioslave, ex-Soundgarden and ex-Temple Of The Dog frontman Chris Cornell. The creatively titled Third Stage tent has a line-up consisting of acts such as Enjoy Destroy, Haunts and Kids In Glass Houses. Since I don't have a clue who any of these bands are (And just a guess but they all suck) I decide to stick around for Cornell. At least Cochise has a good guitar riff. Cornell's set is awfully boring. Most of his songs are almost indentical sounding. Many of them start with what songs like a modern day Red Hot Chili Peppers song intro before moving along at snail like pace while Cornell whines over the top of it. There's a severe shortage of guitar solos too, the one thing that could have saved this trainwreck. Okay it couldn't. But it would have at least helped me try to appreciate it. I now know the perfect music to hang myself too if I'm feeling suicidal and there's not a Smiths CD hanging around. Before the end Cornell plays one of the most annoying, overplayed songs of recent times. Black Hole Sun. Fuck Cornell and fuck Grunge. The fact Cornell's set is just as long as Aerosmith's will be just adds insult to injury but he's gone now and the last thing I wanna do is think about him. I think the final stab in the back from this prick was the fact he came on with his two small daughters(?) and had them hold the microphone while he sung one of his pussified songs. After this particular number he boasted about how "Aerosmith personally asked me to come and play with them here in London" I think we all know why. No chance of being overshadowed by the support act here.

Anyway it's another 15 minutes in the rain before Aerosmith hit the stage. Cheesey introduction video! Darkness! Bang! Love! In! An! Elevator! I'm instantly amazed by how great the whole band but Steve in particular sounds. Not just on this song too the second Cryin' is equally as well executed. The list goes on. To say I heard Tyler's voice was shot to pieces there's no evidence of that here. We get a few treats I wasn't expecting, Eat The Rich, an acoustic version of Hangman Jury and the mighty Draw The Line. The setlist, as suspected is heavily '80s, '90s and '00s loaded but I wasn't around in the '70s anyway so I grew up with all this stuff. Tom Hamilton to say he was ill not long back is on fire, his bass solo before one of my personal favourites is brilliant. What song would that be you ask? Sweet Emotion baby! I was sort of hoping that The Answer, or at least frontman Cormac, would be asked on stage to sing this one with Steve as they covered it for the b-side to their single Be What You Want and dare I say... Did I better job than the original. Inevitably we do get I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing and Jaded. I'm not a huge lover of either of those tracks but they're so brilliantly executed it's hard not to be impressed. The gathering of Joe Perry maniacs behind me are going wild at every guitar solo the man takes. Rightly too, the man's pretty much a living legend and when he gets up there with Tyler it's not hard to see why. From feedback solos to whipping his guitar with his shirt to taking lead vocals on one of the Honkin' On Bobo tracks Joe's got it covered. Seasons Of Wither and Dream On make up for any lack of '70s tunes there might be tonight. Surprisingly we don't get Dude (Looks Like A Lady) but I've heard that track so much that doesn't particularly bother me anyway. Shut Up And Dance would have been a far better treat but you can't have everything. The band leave the stage. A trick pulled by performers since time began. I get the feeling they should knock it in the head and come up with a new gimmick maybe. I surprised by the amount of people who do leave during the break. I'd be very surprised if they thought 'Smith sucked tonight. When they finally do reappear after another weird cartoon video they're joined by one of the rapper guys from Run DMC. Do I need to say what the song was? You can always spot the MTV fans as I like to call them by their response here. Stand quietly, arms folded through the entire set before springing into action at the sound of the famous opening drumbeat. I have to say I'm with the old men here. I prefer the '70s version of Walk This Way where Tyler sngs the verse and leaves the chorus to the rest of the band on backing vocals but obviously we're not gonna get that. Quite the way to close a set anyway. But wait, close a set? Yep, that's it. Seems like a bit of a waste of time to play a 5 minute intro video to come back and play one song but yeah the lights are on and its all over.

Overall a great show. I would have been satisfied if this had just been an Aerosmith concert with support from The Answer and Rose Hill Drive. In fact that may have been better. That way there would have been no fucking Cornell and much less time spent stomping through the mood between tents and the stage. To be fair Fastway put on a decent performance and had I been more in touch than just having Trick Or Treat it would have probably been a much more enjoyable performance. So yeah if you get the chance make sure you take it and go see America's Greatest Rock N' Roll Band. Now off to Amazon you go to get your copies of Rise and Rose Hill Drive!

- Jordan Lee Smith